Bonding Time
by Bruklei
Summary: Erol asks for a little bonding time with Jak...that can't be good. 'What the hell' CRACK fic, OOCness abound.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So, this is my first fanfiction ever really written and published. It was done pretty quickly, most likely crappy, but I was amused by it and I hope you all are ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Naughty Dog.

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Jak lay on his cot, brooding about his time in prison and what he'd do to gain his revenge.

'One day…Erol, Praxis, you'll get yours and it won't be merciful,' he thought darkly. He was so wrapped up in his plotting that he didn't hear the door to his cell opening or the approaching figure. The visitor stood in front of him, teetering on the tip of his toes, almost as if he was nervous, then knelt down by Jaks' head and began pulling at his hair. The tugging broke Jak from his reverie and he shot up, crying out as he felt some of his hair being ripped out.

"That is why you don't make any abrupt movements when someone is trying to do your hair, Eco Freak."

Jak whipped around to see a smiling Erol, his eyes almost glittering ('Not right at all!' Jak thought frantically) with what appeared to be joy. Unbridled, innocent joy. Jak cautiously moved to sit in front of Erol, his muscles tense (in case he had to make a quick getaway) and stared down at the KG Commander questioningly.

"Uh…'doing my hair'?" he asked. Erol nodded quickly. "Erol, what have you taken? Or has someone slipped you something?"

Erol blew a raspberry, shocking Jak even more.

"No silly! I just felt that we could use, you know, a little bonding time," he replied, his smile ("It was really creepy guys, I'm serious!") getting bigger, "I mean, it was so harsh of me to unjustly arrest you like I did two years ago, but I was under strict orders and-"

"Hold on!" Erol closed his mouth, still looking quite cheery. Jak stared at the man, trying to find out a way to explain (to himself) why Erol was acting this way, and what to do with him.

'Erol is usually a sadistic bastard. The only thing that could have changed him is either drugs, conscious or not, or major brain damage,' Jak thought, studying Erol as he played with his helmet, buckling and unbuckling it, 'Probably saw Praxis naked.' Jak shivered and groaned out of disgust before regarding the commander.

"Er…Erol?"

"Yes Jakkie boy?" Jak cringed.

"Well, um, you sure you didn't hit your head, see Praxis naked, or take any drugs?"

Erol pursed his lips, tutting and humming to himself, then shook his head.

"None of the above," he sang ("He literally sang!" Jak would later yell at Daxter), "So scoot, turn, and let me braid your hair. Its gotten so long, looks like it'd be a treat to play with!" Jak complied, feeling the bed lower as Erol climbed up and sat behind him, picking his hair up and began braiding it. Every tug further confused and scared Jak because it made him realize that he wasn't dreaming. The great KG Commander, harbinger of doom to the people of Haven City, his torturer and the man he would eventually kill, was braiding his hair and singing ("I'm not joking Torn, he really was singing!") about rainbows and hiphogs frolicking through the racetrack, shower the dancing metal heads with flowers and butterflies.

"All done!" Erol cheered, making Jak jump an inch or so off his bed. Erol stood up, stretching his arms and brushing his uniform off before turning to look at the thoroughly confused Jak. He smiled and did an odd happy dance and walked off to the door, waving to Jak.

"I had a lot of fun, Jakkie boy," he said ('Stop calling me that' Jak thought desperately), "but unfortunately…I must go. I'll come visit you soon though, so don't you fret! See ya!" With that, he exited the cell, locking the door behind him. Jak sat stationary on the bed, bringing trembling hands up to his head and feeling the mass amount of braids, causing his head to look much bigger than it really was.

'He did all this in that short amount of time? What the hell is going on?!'

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Praxis studied the monitors, one camera in particular, with a look of disgust and shock. He had no idea how to react to what he just saw. Eventually, he shut the camera that was set on Jaks' cell (who was now sitting in a corner in the fetal positions screaming "WHY?!") off and rubbed his one eye.

"I am going to need massive amounts of brain bleach to scrub that out…"


	2. Chapter 2

...I couldn't resist. This part as going to be added to the previous chapter (and Bonding Time was originally going to be a oneshot, followed by this "chapter"), but it didn't go with the flow of everything, so here's a chapter two =) Most likely, this is doubly crappy, but it was still quite amusing to do x)

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the crack-tastic plot. Jak and Co. is owned by Naughty Dog.

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The sun shone brightly on the industrial section of Haven City. The citizens were strolling about, smiles that rarely came on their faces. The joy, however, didn't reach one person who was hunched over, studying the wall in front of him.

"What**.**is**.**that?" Erol seethed, pointing at a poster. The KG officer behind him started nervously, adjusting his gun before replying.

"Uh, well, sir…I do believe that that is a poster."

"I know what it is, you imbecile!" Erol roared at the officer, who took a couple quick steps back, "What I mean was what are those Underground fools trying to pull?!"

The few citizens that had stopped to see what was going on, snickering quietly to themselves, darted away when Erol directed a heated glare in their direction. The KG Commander turned back to the poster, clutching his head, desperately trying to rid himself of his migraine (a complete mystery to him, but it seems like the Baron might know something), growling at the offensive paper plastered to the wall. Furiously, he ripped it off, tearing it apart, throwing and stomping the pieces to the ground. He began to walk away, the mortified officer trailing a few feet away, before turning back and shooting the demolished poster a few times.

"You!" Erol bellowed, pointing at the shaking officer, "I want you to gather other officers and scout the city. If you find any more of this, _trash_, take them down," he turned away, grumbling to himself and began walking towards the stadium when he stopped once again, "Also, do try to find out who even hatched the idea to allow these things to go up." The officer saluted, relaying the order over the communicator, then left in a hurry.

'I know it was you, Eco Freak. You will pay dearly for this!'

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Torn, Jak, Daxter, and other fellow Underground members were gathered in the hideout. It was a mass of chaos, members running in and out the door, bundles of rolled up posters under their arms and tape dispensers in their mouths. Torn oversaw the activities with a look of pure mirth and excitement. They had been looking for a way to undermine Erol, knock him down a few pegs and Jaks long awaited confession proved to be that method. Daxter was mildly disturbed, but couldn't deny the fact that he was just as amused as Torn. Jak on the other hand had backed himself into a corner, his eyes twitching at the memories that had resurfaced.

'I knew I shouldn't have told Torn, but did I listen to myself? Nooo…' he thought.

The former KG Commander let out a particularly loud bark of laughter at the sight of a more offensive and humiliating poster that was now being rolled up.

"Be sure to put thatone on the palace walls or better yet, find a way into the palace and post it up!" he said, waving the member away.

"It is not that funny Torn," Jak grumbled weakly, eyeing the stacks of posters warily. Torn by now was bent over, holding his sides.

"Yes it is!" Torn snorted. He fled the hideout, Jak having pulled out his morph gun and setting it on the peacemaker, laughing as he ran.

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'Tis the end of this thing. Short lived, but good enough =)


End file.
